For a while, I have tried to schedule and make my days routine. It has worked, but only for a time. I hate monotony, and I always seem to be in constant change. Old strategies stop working, my schedule falls apart, and my creative interests wax and wane. I’ve never liked doing the same things for days on end. Even though my body benefits from it, I dislike forcing myself to sleep at a specific time, especially when I have a burning desire to create or design something, like writing a fictional timeline. Routine is often dangled by productivity gurus who espouse it as the true foundation of a successful life. Countless routine videos are made on YouTube featuring edited and manicured models of what the perfect, best, and most optimal morning routine looks like.
I often beat myself up for not planning my time, failing to stick to a routine, staying up late, or not doing the right things for my productivity. It has become a cycle of feeling the need to stick to a routine, failing, feeling unproductive, and trying to do it all again. Maybe the fact that I keep failing at routines is a sign that this doesn’t work for me. Perhaps my chaotic way of going through the days with no regard for time is a feature and not a bug. Maybe it’s what makes me hate the 9-5 so much, and perhaps it’s a part of my creative process. What if what I need to do is embrace my chaos?
Coffee at 6 am? Making your bed every day? Yoga? Morning walk? Drinking a special water cocktail to boost energy? These sound like great ideas, but what if I get more things done when I jump into my work first thing in the morning? Why must I spend 2 hours without my devices and digital tools, and forgo my work for other activities I don’t feel motivated to do when I wake up? Lately, I have been making my own observations about what would be best for me to do, and the answer is more often than not different on a daily basis. I’m usually very creatively motivated when I wake up, but some days I want to stay and work in bed. Who ever said I can’t be productive while lying down? What if I’m feeling less creative, and I choose to binge a short series?
I recently listened to a short podcast episode by Optimal Living Daily that addressed the new, almost dystopian reality of guru-approved morning routines—ideas of what our morning routines should look like if we want to be as successful as these YouTube influencers. I never had morning routines when I think about it. My days would be unique, with the only commonality being habits. Maybe habits are really the secret sauce of my creative childhood: the habit of drawing, reading and writing stories, and exploring my creativity.
I have all the information and knowledge within my experience to determine the lifestyle that suits me. I have the creativity and intelligence to improve my own life without needing to listen to a thousand hours of productivity gurus telling me what I should do or procrastinating on videos about how to be productive. That’s not to say the wisdom of others is not valid, but I think I’ve been trying for so long to bend myself into a mold—an idea of what my daily life should look like, to fit ideas of what I must do to be “maximally” productive—instead of listening to my own internal drives and my own ways of being.